12-28-98
One more Christmas story and the season is offically over. There is this guy that live down the street and every year he does the same thing. He has one of those light-up Frosty's and Santa's. Every year he put Frosty on the roof next to the chimney and santa with the reindeer on the front lawn. Why does he do this? Shouldn't it be the other way? Oh well, I like his style and every year it cracks me up when I drive by. Ok, so I went back to work today. I'll discribe my day (I'm a security guard for those who don't know) and I won't exagorate. I opened the place at 6:30, called the Protection Bureau, and sat down. At 10:30 I got up and did a tour, it took me an hour because I couldn't find all the Detex keys. I ate lunch at 12:00. I did another tour at 2:00 to 2:30. Closed at 3:00 and went home. So for about 6 and a half hours I sat on my butt. It gave me some time to get some SAS reading done but even so, man it was borring. Tomorrow is going to be even worse. These isn't going to be anyone there. No one. Sleep city baby. I wish I worked more though, as of now I'm only on two days a week. I will still make more money doing this then going back to my old job, and I won't bust my #!$ either. I just wish there was a bit more to do. There is only so much to do in an abandoned whare house.


12-26-98
Did I get what for Christmas? Yep. The roast beef was a little too done but it was still very good. The meatballs were very good, just a hint of sweetness (crandberries is what does it). I got four shirts, a pair of jeans, a flannel shirt (real heavy, its good), a suitcase (for SAS), a Darth Vader orniment, a blow up doll from the painting "The Scream", socks, underwear, and an overly generous amount of money from my Grandmother. Unfortunatly my father got a Burl Ives CD. I have already heard it three times today. I didn't get a Star Trek orniment this year. I think it was the Defiant, but I'm not sure. My mom said that it didn't look to good. Maybe next year. My mom got this fake pie that stinks like purfume. I didn't win a Scrabble at my grandmothers. I also had to listen to Christmas music the whole day, and the day before when we went to my Aunt and Uncle's. He overcooked the meat too, but the real crandberry sause made up for it. My cousins kids ran outside to see Santa go by on the fire-engine, that was cool. I've had a cold the last couple of days. I hate colds, I didn't get one the whole time I was at school but right after I get home BLAM got one. We are going to my god-partents house tomorrow (or at least I think they are my god-parents, but I guess they are just friends so close they are family). They overcook meat too. Don't you know meat should be red in the center, not gray. Ok, I don't feel well I'm ending.


12-20-98
Well, I'm home from school. First finals... That God they are over! I was not looking forward to that Western Civ II final at all. The last week that I was there I developed this super irritating nervous twitch on my leg. I know it was because of that final. Overall I think I did well. I had plenty of time, and fairly good ideas (at least I thought). At least it is over, and my twitch is gone too. Now all I have to get is my grades. They sould come fairly soon. I'm not nervous about anything. I'm guessing 3.65 at worst 3.4. Second, impeachment... There is no way Clinton is going down. There is no chance that the Senate will get a 2/3 majority on any of those charges. Now that's not to say that he isn't guilty, he is, it is just retarded. Real smooth Bob Livingston, give up your chairmenship, brilliant. What good is that going to do? I really think that the Republicans have no idea what is in the head of this man. Nothing will make him resign, nothing can bring down his approval. How many bombshells have the Republicans dropped? Did he really think resigning as speaker would impact the president at all. My message to them is stop trying to bring down the president, you're only hurting yourselves. But what do I care, I'm a registered Democrat! Third, Christmas... I got all my shopping done today, I dropped a mean wad of cash. But at least it is done. Now I won't have to go to the mall until next Christmas. The mall makes me loose all faith in humanity. I like to keep an idealized view of mankind I guess. When I go to the mall all my illusions are shattered. It's all just braindamaged guys with their thirteen year old whores. People make me sick. I hate to look at them, hear them, or in anyway be involved with them. Now when I say people I mean large groups which I don't know. I had to say goodbye to my crew from Pittsburgh on Friday. It's good to know you are wanted. When people heard that I wasn't coming back for the 99-2 semester the general reaction was one of displeasure. "What?!? Why??? That sucks!" was the most common thing. Last year when I left there was no one like that. No one cared about not seeing you for the summer. Let me tell you, this year was much better. I actually will miss some of them. Everyone in my crew is very cool, I enjoy their company. But now I'm home and back with my old crew. I feel the same way about them. Ok, enough about them, back to Christmas. I hate the term "the Christmas spirt." What a load of crap. Giving, sharing, peace, it makes me sick. So for one day a year you stop being an @!$@%#^* and be a happy loving person. What hippocrates! So for the rest of the year you can be the same old piece of trash that you usually are. You make me sick (well those of you who do this stuff). Do you think that your God (if you believe in one) will forgive you for all the horrible things you do just because you gave a can of food to the boyscouts? Wrong! Because you give on one day does that mean you can take all the others? No! "But you've got to keep the spirt in your heart!" Rubbish! Christmas is about greed and materialism, and thats it. I hate it and can't wait until it is over. It makes me sick. Now I do give gifts, it would be taboo not to. I don't want anything. I have all that I want. You see, I only want what I need. If I don't need it, I don't want it. Simplicity is what I desire. I was getting something it the mall today and this woman at the check out line was trying to explain the workings of the stoors credit card. She says "oh, its all so complicated." I looked at her and just said "simplify, simplify." The woman at the register laughed at me, like you couldn't live without the stupid stores card. Well, you can. You can live without most things. What do you really need? I'll tell you what I really need. It's the only thing I really hope for on Christmas (but at all holidays as well). I just want to get together with my family, to share a good meal, and have some laughs and good times. And in the end what else matters then this? Your posessions break, get lost, and wear out. Your memories of your family at these happy times will never get taken away. They will always bring a smile to your face. And they will never break, get lost, and wear out. They are yours and will remain pure forever. So maybe when you have opened all your gifts and gotten all your loot maybe you should be think about the important things in life. Maybe you sould think about what you really need.


12-16-98
First some current events. I had two finals today, both I think I did well on. Intro to World Music was a joke like usual. Greek History was difficult, but I expected it to be. The first 50 questions were no problem, the second (which were of things from past lectures) was difficult. I swear, some of that stuff I've never heard before. But he always curves big time, so I shouldn't have a problem. I had to laugh the people that were sitting behind us were trying to go over the stuff one more time before he passed out the exam. They had all the names wrong, they didn't know anything. The guy I tutored and I were cracking up they were so bad. Speaking of that guy. I went over to his place, my god it was awsome! I've been to other peoples houses and they were horrible. This guy had a leather couch and chairs! The place was decked out. That is the kind of place I want, not some college rats nest like most people have. What sucks is that because I'm going on the Semester at Sea I won't be able to check anything out. I've got a bunch of people who want to get a house with me, but not being there it's hard to say yes. So it looks like I'll be in the dorms for another year. Bla! Ok, now on to the Iraqi bombings... The first thing that popped into my head was "Finally, what took them so long!". I've wanted them to bomb Iraq for months. So I was happy. Then as time went on and I heard more people on the radio (I don't have a TV) discussing the situation the more I questioned it. Could this really be an attempt to delay impeachment, or at least get the heat off? Though I don't think that he should be impeached, he is a admitted lyier. People brough up Ramidan (or however you spell that) against him. They say "How can we have prolonged attacks if we won't fight during Ramidan." But I can also see the logic that the President used that we needed to hit them before they could have a chance to prepare themselves. I just don't know. But I think I've come to a conclusion, at least for now. We need to bomb them! We've needed to for months, maybe years, now. Yes the timing is bad, but exactly when would the timing have been good? If he had done it before they would have said he was trying to influence the impeachment committee. If he acted later they would have yelled that he was trying to screw with the Senate hearings. And if he had done nothing at all they would have yelled that he was too soft on Iraq. So now was as good a time as ever. Bomb them, bomb the good! We just can not tollerate Saddam running around doing whatever he wants. We made that mistake with Hitler (and he didn't have weapons of mass distruction!) and look what happened. You can not allow dictators to do whatever they wish. Like it or not the US, and the world, has an obligation to protect everyone from the possible dangers that a man like Saddam creates. We have to take a stand, better do it now then not do it at all.


12-15-98
First some current events. I didn't do that well on that Statistics exam. I just didn't know how to do some of that stuff. All the questions were strangely worded. I swear I hadn't sceen some of that stuff before. Hopefully I have a B after it. Tonight I'm tutoring someone I know in Greek History. I feel confident of my knowledge but I don't know about him. That's why I'm here, killing time before I go eat then see him. Now to the impeachment stuff. First off I would like to say that had they waited to try Clinton until after his term was up I would have no problem with the whole thing. They could have convicted him of anything and I would have accepted it. But they had to do while he was in office, they had to try to ruin the president. And why? Political gain. But it is all going to blow up in the Republican's faces. Now I know why Newt is leaving, it isn't the election he cared about, it was the negitive effects of this impeachment that worried him. And you know what! He was probably the smartest of them all. He is going to save face, take some time off, and run for President in 2000. Great move Newt, it doesn't mean I'll vote for you, but it was a smooth move. He knows the score. He will come out looking better than ever for a bid in 2000. As you can tell I am against impeachment. Yes, Clinton did a bad thing, and yes, Clinton did an illegal thing. But I don't think that lying about sex with an inturn is grounds to toss the President out of office. What did you expect him to do? Tell the truth!?! How could he had done that? You can't tell the truth about a sexual affair. It just isn't possible. So I say who cares about him lying under oath. It's just isn't important. "But if you believe that then we should never accept any testimony!" was a point someone tried to make to me. No, you can't throw out all testimony, don't be retarded. So what is a non-important issue? I thought about it and I believe there are only two. One is sex. No one can ever be expected to tell the truth, especially if you are in public office. The second is drug use. How can anyone be expected to say "Yes, I hit the bong all the time." They just couldn't do it, you would never expect them to. Clinton did both and lyied about both, and I don't care. They have no impact on his power as president or anything else for that matter. Now, if Ken Star could have brought any evidence against Clinton in regards to Whitewater, taking improper funds from China, or anything else I would have said yes to impeachment. Consentual sex just doesn't cut it for me. And yes he was wrong as is anyone else who would do such a shameful act, and should be scored for his actions. But getting expelled from office is too much. It's not like he traded guns for hostiges or anything like that (now that's abuse of office!). So I say have your trail, humiliate the President, but nothing more. Just leave it alone and go back to making laws for the nation. In other words, do your job!


12-13-98
Ok, the Psychology exam wasn't bad. It was longer than I had expected but that wasn't really a problem. I've got a Statistics one tomorrow, and it's going to suck big time. It's a real final, not just a last exam. That means besides the normal crap, I have to know all the old stuff too. Man I don't want to go. The next day I have to help someone I know study for Greek History. I don't have any problem with that class, I've been one of the top three grades on both exams. Oh well, experts say that when you teach something you actually learn it better. And the stupid Intro to World Music final, what a bunch of crap. I've got the highest grade in my recitation. Why do I have to waste my time? Just give me my A and let me study for my real finals. The worst final is going to be Western Civ II. All essay, all pain in the !@#. I really don't like the TA, and he's the one that will be grading it. I don't know... As soon as it's over I'll be happy. I don't see how I could get any higher then a B+ no matter what grade I get. And I thought that this was going to be my easiest class when the semester started! Boy was I wrong. Ok, Ultimate was a bit angering. There is this one guy who gets on my nerves. He has an ego bigger then the center we play in. He puts his teammates down and is generally a #@$!. I am ashamed to even take the field with him. Now to "Star Trek: Insurection." It was a pretty cool movie. Funny, action packed. It was a lot like Lethal Weapon 4. But even though it was entertaing I don't know how it stacks up to the other Star Treks. I like action movies but is all that Star Trek movies are going to be from now on? Have they sold out to the boxoffice? Now don't get me wrong, not all the Star Trek films have reached this level. The more I watched the first one the more I like it, but it's still only OK. The Wrath of Kahn (I hope I spelled that right) was just an action movie. However, it had the whole friendship and the good of the many v. the few aspect. So no, the old school ones have not been all deep thinkers. But what they DID do is really explore the characters in the movie. The old ones only focused on Kirk, Spock, and McCoy and the friendship between them. These new ones aren't really doing that. They are trying to involve all the characters. Do the new ones have the potential to do this? I think a Picard and Data match up would be good, but who is the third members? You really need three. I guess it would fall to Riker, but I don't know if that would be best. But who else could it be? Geordi is who I would hope it would fall to. What other character has his potential? Eventually Riker would have to get his own command, Worf is on DS9, the female characters aren't interesting enough. Hopefully they can really start to focus. I think the deep friendships were the attaction of the old movies. I'd hate for them to be trapped into the simple action movie sceen. Don't get me wrong it was good but maybe it could have been more. And maybe there is something wrong with me that I've spent so much time talking about it. On to something else. I don't understand myself sometimes. In psychology its called self handicapping. I just seems that whenever I'm in a situation where I want to leave a good impression I end up doing something so stupid that I end up looking like a fool. Is it that I'm afraid of going into new groups and meeting new people? So in order to protect myself I subcontiously mess it all up. Now I'm not going to say what it was, my friends and family can read this and I don't want to reveal anything to them (what I should have done is do the journal on a different page and never told anyone, too late though I guess). It eats me up now. How could I have been so stupid! Rrrrraaaaaaa!!!! Up until that point I had been making a good impression, but then I screwed it up and made a fool of myself. It's probably not as crippling as I think but it gets me down. It's like I want to fail, like I'm comfortable with it. I'm so dumb. Sometimes I really hate myself. Ok, thats enough for now I do have a final tomorrow.


12-10-98
Well I have my first final tomorrow, Psychology of Personality. I've studied, and I think I know it but who knows. I've got to know these five experiments front and back. Which sort of a pain because you have to spend so much time going over it. Tomorrow after classes I should be playing Ultimate like usual, but we are going to leave early to see Star Trek: Insurection. I get the feeling that it is going to be bad. I've sceen some of the commercials and none of them show any of the plot. This worries me, could it be that the plot is so weak that if they show it people won't go? I hope not, it's costing me 6.50. I've been reading some translations of the Tao te Ching lately. It seems to say a lot of things that I have been saying for years. But some of the consepts I just can't seem to reconcile. Like where does Taoism stand is a post-industrial, information based society? Taoism says knowledge is not of the Way. There are some other things but I can't think of them off the top of my head, too much Psychology floating around. I guess my questions mean that I don't understand the Tao. Perhaps it is the questioning that is making me lost... Anyway, I was waiting for some stuff to print out the other day when I discover this excellent online journal, Bubblegum Angst (it's now in my list of links). I couldn't believe that this person is only 15. She is an excellent writer, and very creative. She seems like a divergent thinker, which I admire. Some of the things she says make me sad. It makes you realize how good your life has been. To hear someone who has problems is depressing. Though maybe its all youth's overdramitization. I can't imagine what I would do if my parents didn't like each other. I am lucky. God...Why are people mean...God? Man I wish I had that song on tape! Oh well, things could be worse for everyone I suppose. We just have to accept the world and what recieve from it. I wonder what my Grandmother is doing right now? She's on a trip around South America. Yeah, she gets around. I'm looking forward to Christmas day at her house. I always like that. And I can't figure out why roast beef at her house is so much better than anywhere else. No matter how hard we try at home it just doesn't have the same flavor. I guess it s a grandmother thing. Grandmother magic you might say. I don't think everyone is going to be there though. I guess it's that whole distance thing. Well that is life. Rejoice in what you have when you have it, then you will not regret it when it is gone.


12-7-98
Well this is the last week of classes. I'm caught up on reading and everything else. I've got an exam of Friday. It's going to be harder then I had assumed in the beginning, but I should be Ok. Ultimate was cool this weekend. I made some good plays I even got a "you've really been playing well lately" from someone I respect. The IUP guys (well the two of them) were up so we hung out for a while after. They are cool guys. Well here is something that isn't cool. As I had said some friends of mine were starting an Ultimate Club at their High School. UNTIL NOW! I got this e-mail today:

so, we won rights to the ultimate club, all is good, right?

WRONG! damn, so, we went to mr finnemeyer and he had just gotten off the phone with the reporter. the reporter says that a bunch of kids from one of the middleschools wants to start a frisbee club, but the North Penn School Board says "what good is a frisbee club?" damn... they are really objecting to a frisbee club, in the middleschool, that is, so i guess it applies to us to. they say, that since it isnt educational, and it IS going to cost them money, we dont want it. (it will supposedly cost money, because you need an advisor, and after the first year of advising, the teacher will get extra salary add ons) plus, the school board says that if we use their name (NORTH PENN ultimate club) it would show that the school is supporting us, and would give us the credibility that would make it look like we are well supported in the district. So, i guess they dont want us to use the name NPUC. What the !#$@ is that!!!! *%@$ you, !$#%*, what is the difference between a frisbee club, a ski club, a golf club, a mountain bike club.....etc...etc...etc.

all we want is anouncements to get people to show up when we want to play a game of ultimate, WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO COME DOWN TO MONEY????!!!!

!*@$ North Penn

peace

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